An open post to Ashton Kutcher.
Dearest Ashton,
We loved your Tweet over the weekend featuring a certain famous butt belonging to your equally-famous “wifey,” Demi Moore. A pretty good view into your fantastic existence. Your superfit wife is steaming your suit while wearing a white bikini and you snap her picture when she’s definitely looking away. Then send it to the world. To top it off, she thinks it’s funny. Throw in a cool car and you have yourself a killer rap video.
But we felt that we were missing something. What could that be? Hmmm. Maybe the other half of the…

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